Mini Lesson: Punctuating Interrupted Dialogue

I'll admit, today's mini lesson focuses on a pet peeve of mine: punctuating interrupted dialogue. I've seen so many different (incorrect) versions, and they do get quite inventive, but we definitely need to clear this one up.

As a foundation, I am assuming you all know how to punctuate basic dialogue—rules like using a comma in place of a period with a dialogue tag, not capitalizing the tag if it's after the dialogue, etc. For a simple example: "Hello," she said.

Today I want to focus specifically on what happens when something (or someone) interrupts a character who's speaking mid-sentence. There are three different ways to write this correctly:

1. Use a speech verb with a modifier. For example: "Look over there," she said, pointing to the corner, "over by the bookshelves."
• Because you're using a speech verb (said), you punctuate it like any other dialogue tag, with a comma before the closing quotation mark.
• In this case, the extra action (pointing to the corner) is added on following a comma because the modifier is subordinate to the main verb (still said).
• Because you're interrupting one sentence ("Look over there, over by the bookshelves."), a comma is also used to lead into the second half of the dialogue, and that second bit of dialogue is not capitalized.
• Keep in mind, the dialogue in this example could be two separate sentences: "Look over there. Over by the bookshelf." This is a different speech pattern, and if this is how you'd like your character to speak, then there would be a period after "corner," and the second bit of dialogue would be capitalized:
  
  "Look over there," she said, pointing to the corner. "Over by the bookshelves."
2. Use an em dash inside the quotation marks to cut off the character mid-dialogue, usually with either (A) another character speaking or (B) an external action.
• A: "Look over there—"
  "By the bookshelves," Jamie added before Sheila could clarify. 
• B: "Look over there—"
  A stack of boxes clattered to the ground.
• Including the em dash at the end of the line of dialogue signifies that your character wasn't finished speaking.
• Sometimes unfinished lines of dialogue end with an ellipsis. This is grammatically correct, but it signifies your character trailing off as if losing their train of thought or drifting off to sleep, not something or someone else interrupting their words.
• If you want to make a point of the speaking character's action interrupting their own dialogue, you could also use this punctuation, writing:
  
  "Look over there—" She snapped her mouth shut so she didn't give the secret away.
• Note that in most such instances a new sentence starts after the closing quotation mark, so of course the first word would need to be capitalized.
• If instead you're following the interrupted line with a dialogue tag, you would leave the tag lowercase, as usual. For example:
"Is everything—" she started to ask, but a sharp look cut her off.
3. Use em dashes outside the quotation marks to set off a bit of action without a speech verb. For example: "Look over there"—she pointed to the corner—"by the bookshelves."
• Do not merely use commas, because in such cases there is no speech verb, and therefore it isn't a dialogue tag and can't be punctuated like one.
• Wrong: "Look over there," she pointed to the corner, "by the bookshelves."
• Pointed isn't a speech verb, but this punctuation indicates that she is "pointing" her words to the corner. If we were to replace pointed with called, this punctuation would become correct, as in example #1 above.
• Do not put the em dashes inside the quotation marks if the line of dialogue continues after the interruption. 
• Wrong: "Look over there—" she pointed to the corner "—by the bookshelves."
• Also wrong? Putting em dashes half in and half out, or combining em dashes with commas. If you're segmenting a line of dialogue without using a speech verb, make sure to close the quotation marks after the first bit of dialogue, use two em dashes around the interruption, then open the quotation marks again for the second part.

• Bonus: If we're tuning into someone's dialogue in the middle, you can absolutely open the dialogue with an em dash or an ellipsis, making sure not to capitalize the first word. For example:
  
  Sheila found Jason leaning against the wall. "—why we'll never go to Starbucks again," he was saying.
  (Or: "...why we'll never go to Starbucks again," he was saying.)
• This does not work if we're catching a full sentence, in other words if there would have been a period (or question mark, or exclamation point) had we "heard" what came before. In such a case, the narration or tag can clue us in to having missed part of the dialogue:
  
  "So that's why we'll never go to Starbucks again," Jason finished explaining.

As you can see, there are many ways to punctuate your dialogue. Each option affects the speech pattern of your character as well as the flow of your narration, so make sure your choices are intentional. Words matter, and so does punctuation!

Have questions? Would you like to suggest a Mini Lesson subject? Share in the comments!

Authors Helping Houston

To support relief efforts following Hurricane Harvey, authors in a variety of genres have pledged to donate their royalties from the books on this page. I've been lucky enough to work with several authors among those participating, and I'm sure the books listed include some great reads!

So if you're looking to fill up your reading list, please consider purchasing some (or all!) of these books before September 17th. You can also show your support for the generosity of these authors by leaving an honest review after reading.

Click on the photo to learn more!

A Glimpse of the 2017 RWA Conference

Last week, I had the opportunity to drop by some of the national Romance Writers of America conference in Orlando, so I thought I'd offer you all a glimpse of the fun!

I got to see this year's very creative, "coloring wall" advertising from Avon:

Early on:

Toward the end:

And I had the pleasure of attending this year's RITA Award ceremony, where I got to hear the amazing Beverly Jenkins speak while accepting her Lifetime Achievement Award. I also had the chance to celebrate the fantastic Sarah Andre and her accomplishment of being named one of this year's RITA finalists in the Romantic Suspense category!

I spent plenty of time chatting with romance writers, authors, and lovers—including the aforementioned Sarah Andre, whom I finally had a chance to meet in person after years of working together:

And C.F. Francis, a new author in the Touchstone Editing family (pictured with Sarah after the RITAs):

Did you make it to RWA or another conference this summer? What was your favorite part? Share in the comments!

Mini Lesson: Hyphenating Compound Adjectives

I've written before on the importance of syntax and the nuances conveyed by minor shifts in wording. But words on their own are insufficient, and there's a reason we've developed all sorts of extra marks to augment them. Using punctuation correctly is important not simply because "that's the rule," as some might believe. Rather, slight differences in how we use punctuation marks can significantly alter meaning, and therefore a reader's experience. Ensuring we can all understand the intended meaning is why the rules exist in the first place.

Today, I want to focus on the hyphen, specifically when it comes to compound adjectives. More and more, I see authors (and their editors and proofreaders) forgetting or misusing these hyphens.

I can hear you thinking, "What does it matter? Readers understand it either way!" While I could go on and on about the richer picture writers can create with a fuller toolbox, I'll try instead to illustrate the value of that one little line (-).

First up: what is a compound adjective? Generally speaking, it's an adjective—a descriptor—made up of more than one word. The first word usually modifies the second one, and combined they describe the noun that follows. For example, in "a six-page document," the compound adjective is "six-page," with six describing the (number of) pages, and the whole thing together describing the noun document.

So why do we need a hyphen? Because the words making up the compound adjective need to stay together to retain their meaning. Examples below will illustrate this more fully, but the basic rule you need to know is that compound adjectives before a noun should always be hyphenated.

With that out of the way, let's dive in. Picture if you will: a light brown table.

Got it?

Now picture a heavy brown table.

That's right, light in the first example refers most correctly to the table's weight. (In theory, it could also be a table for light, or made of light, but let's keep it simple for our purposes.) I would feel comfortable betting that at least half of you interpreted the first use of light as referring to the shade of brown. Why? Because we're becoming so used to people forgetting hyphens that we're conditioned to read combinations like "light brown" and "light-brown" as interchangeable, even though they aren't.

If we really want to stress that light is describing the sturdiness of the table, we'd often add weight, using a distinct adjective: a lightweight table. However, remember that this is just one example and we don't always have the option of adding a clarification like that so easily.

Now consider if instead you were talking about a light jacket. If your main character (MC) grabs a light blue jacket on their way out the door, we should reliably know that the jacket is blue and that it's only a little chilly outside—the jacket is lightweight. If, however, your MC grabs a light-blue jacket, all we know is the color of the jacket, not how warm it is. And if they're grabbing a light-blue jacket that is also lightweight, you could say it's a light pale-blue jacket (or a lightweight light-blue jacket—grammatically correct, though awkward).

Of course, you can also substitute pale-blue for a more specific color, but remember that if the color is two words, it also needs a hyphen when preceding a noun. For example: a sky-blue jacket; a royal-purple robe.

If your head is spinning a little bit, try this little trick: if you can't split up the words describing the noun without changing the meaning, you need a hyphen. Let's look at some examples:

1. Our original example was a light brown table. If we split up the adjectives, we would get a light table that is brown, or a brown table that is light. It's a little awkward, but the meaning is clear. And if that's the meaning we want, we wouldn't use a hyphen.
2. However, the table in #1 is brown. If you wanted its color to be lighter, then it would be a light-brown table (hyphenated).
3. How about a purple skinned fruit? Splitting these adjectives, we'd get a skinned fruit that is purple or a purple fruit that is skinned. Makes sense, as would a skinned purple fruit. 
4. But what if you wanted to describe specifically that the fruit's skin was purple? I think you know the answer: a purple-skinned fruit, meaning it can be any color inside but the skin is definitely purple.
5. If the compound isn't made of adjectives, the need for a hyphen is even clearer. A sky jacket that is blue is very different from a sky-blue jacket. And "a blue jacket that is sky" simply makes no sense.
• If you're asking yourself what a "sky jacket" is, you're not alone. But I could imagine characters who fly routinely, whether in the future or on a different planet, having a "sky jacket," the same way we have water shoes.

Hopefully it's clear now why it's important to make intentional choices in your writing, even when it comes to something as small as a hyphen. But there's one more compound adjective type I'd like to touch on briefly: multiple colors. 

In some cases, one color modifies the other: a blue-green scarf. For many, it would be a no-brainer to use a hyphen if that read "bluish-green," but "blue-green" is correct as well. What color is this scarf? A bluish green.

Remember, hyphens are required when the compound adjective precedes the noun. If you're saying, "the scarf is a bluish green," no hyphen is necessary.

What if instead you wrote "a blue-and-green scarf"? Then we'd know the scarf is both blue and green (maybe striped, maybe polka-dotted, etc.). Note that the order of the colors is interchangeable, so we could write "green-and-blue scarf" and retain the same meaning.

So why can't you write "a blue and green scarf"? Let's go back to our tip of splitting the adjectives: "a blue scarf that is green" doesn't make sense.

Furthermore, what if we had more than one scarf? Imagine a store, selling scarves. What color are they?

• Blue and green scarves: some scarves are green; some are blue. 
• Another way to say this is that the store sells blue scarves and green scarves. Like before, if you can split the adjectives this way and keep your intended meaning, you don't need a hyphen.
• Blue-and-green scarves: all of the scarves are both blue and green.
• Note that it's correct (and necessary) to hyphenate multiple words in a row like this, even if it looks a little weird at first. A pet peeve of mine is seeing errors such as "black and white photos." If you have black photos and white photos, you might need a better camera, so make sure to add those hyphens!

It may seem pedantic, but words and punctuation are your tools for communicating with readers, for creating a vibrant world they can picture, and for drawing them into the story you mean to tell. The more dextrous you are in wielding those tools, the more nuance and impact your writing will have. Hopefully today we've sharpened one of the tools in your collection!

Questions? Suggestions for future "Mini Lessons"? Post them in the comments!

Featured Author: Sarah Andre

Normally we save our featured author posts for the end of the month, but since Sarah Andre's Capturing the Queen (Damaged Heroes, book 2) releases tomorrow, this seemed like the perfect time for an exception.

I've had the pleasure of working with Sarah on all three of her novels. From the very first set of notes I sent her and every time since, she's blown me away with her ability to internalize and process critiques, then truly transform her story during revisions. Her willingness to accept feedback and her drive to create gripping romantic suspense allow her to improve immeasurably between drafts, with just a nudge in the right direction. Underlying her skill with revisions is also an incredibly creative mind that keeps me (and her readers) guessing with exciting, unpredictable plot twists.

I'm so glad to have the opportunity to help her writing grow into its vast potential, and I already can't wait to read book 3 in the Damaged Heroes series! 

For her visit on our site, Sarah decided to share some thoughts on writing compelling heroes for romantic suspense:


This June marks the third consecutive year I’ll publish a romantic suspense edited by Anya, and the third consecutive year she’s virtually shoved me from my unwavering path toward irate reviews.

Perhaps it’s my myopic view as a writer to assume everyone knows my protagonist like I do, because it’s always a shock when both my critique partner and Anya read the first drafts of my novels and send back the blanket summary: Your hero is an ass.

Editor's note: I have never said that sentence to her. 😉

What? How could that be? I adore him! He suffered a terrible childhood and has now made a success of himself. Surely it’s clear why he behaves this way, utters that remark, or how every decision he makes plunges him into deeper chaos? And how can you not feel sorry for him when his world finally crumbles at his feet?

Last year I sent a four-page email filled with anguished questions like this back to Anya. I’ve been writing for twelve years, what basic craft principle am I not getting? Her answer was simple:

Externally you can keep the same plot issues with his fiancée, his dad, etc., but internally there has to be more at stake—a status quo that’s shaken from the moment of his return, and keeps falling apart.

Stakes. A status quo that’s shaken. Keeps falling apart… Her words were a two-by-four to the head. For all the online classes, craft books, and workshops I’ve absorbed, I’d made the most basic newbie mistake: I focused on my protagonist’s external conflicts (plot-driven approach) when the riveting aspect of a novel is the internal struggle (character-driven).

We’re all flawed in real life, and we all hold a world view or universal truth that is somewhere on the bell curve of skewed to destructively wrong. But it’s our belief, it’s what makes us feel "safe," and it’s basically unshakable.

The character arc and happily-ever-after part of a romantic suspense is when the hero sees the error of that belief and grows as a person while also capturing the bad guy. My task was to make his world view much more tangible than: he had a tough childhood, so he acts like this now. It meant distilling that broad paintbrush stroke to a fine point: he wants extreme wealth and power with no emotional ties so he’ll never again face the emotional and financial destitution he experienced as a child. NOW, in this distilled form, I’m going to shake that belief system like a can of soda!

Why is the character-driven approach more riveting than plot-driven? She went on to explain:

It’s good that you have him pulled in a thousand directions and therefore he has to prioritize, but right now those directions don’t really matter because his internal world doesn’t really matter [to the reader]. 

This also meant I had to rewrite and revise in much deeper point of view. Every thought and action out of him or the characters he interacted with had to be filtered through the hero's fear that the life he’s built is cracking and falling apart.

Although this was my story’s status quo, I hope Anya’s insight has helped you look at your protagonist in a new light too.

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Sarah Andre is a 2017 RWA RITA® finalist and writes "romantic suspense that keeps you up all night." She lives in serene Southwest FL with her husband and two naughty Pomeranians. When she’s not writing, Sarah stays crushingly busy in various volunteer positions which she complains about loudly, but secretly enjoys. Her latest romantic suspense, Capturing the Queen, releases June 13, 2017.

Connect with Sarah on Twitter & Facebook, or sign up for her newsletter!